How Avoiding Conflict Can Cause Problems In Your Relationship

You’ll no longer have to silence yourself or experience extreme anxiety and fear of confrontation. Relationship conflict refers to a disagreement, argument, or debate that takes place between two people within a relationship. Relationship conflict highlights basic differences between you and your partner. When two people with different backgrounds, beliefs, ideas, wants and desires come together, conflict is bound to occur. Conflict has a negative connotation, but can actually be quite healthy for your relationship. However, fighting with your partner can be uncomfortable for some.

At its core, conflict avoidance is really people-pleasing, so it’s a form of codependency. The conflict avoidant person will make themselves uncomfortable in order to not make anyone else upset or uncomfortable. In adulthood, some things rarely resolve properly without a good fight, or at least somebody standing up for themselves and asserting their opinion. If you’re conflict avoidant, instead of telling your boss they’ve got your pay wrong and need to fix it, or a boyfriend that their birthday card for your mom was offensive, you’ll suffer in silence. Keyword “suffer,” because the issue at hand won’t change if you won’t engage in discussion about it, and the same thing will likely happen again. Conflict avoidance is a person’s method of reacting to conflict, which attempts to avoid directly confronting the issue at hand.

Address conflict early

If this sounds like you, you can develop greater confidence about conflict resolution by setting boundaries. There are four main things to focus on if you’re a conflict avoider or if you’re dealing with a conflict avoider at home or work. When you communicate openly and honestly with your partner, you are able to share your thoughts and feelings with them. Unlike Angry Cart Guy, most people don’t go around looking for a fight.

People who love you can provide support and a rational viewpoint, encouraging you to stand up for yourself. For people who have a fear of confrontation in relationships, what they are fearful of is big emotions. Suppose you can reframe your thoughts on conflict and recognize it as a necessary part of compromising and building a successful relationship.

Talk with someone supportive

This is okay unless there is something that needs to be worked out. Moreover, this may be when you want to know more about how to deal with a conflict avoidant spouse. In some cases, conflict avoidance may have how to deal with someone who avoids conflict been reinforced when a person was growing up. If they said they were unhappy or acted like they had a problem when they were young, they might have been treated unfairly by their parents or caregivers.

There are times when you should do everything you can to avoid a conflict. The trick is to learn when this is necessary and not just avoid conflict because you are afraid of conflict. When dealing with a conflict avoidant spouse, something else that is quite important is that you should let them talk to you.